There was probably a time in your childhood when you felt good – when you were quite happy with the girl you were. It didn’t matter how you looked, you felt safe just being you. Do you remember that time? If you do, think of it and notice how you feel. If you can’t remember such a time, remember something good about your childhood, no matter how insignificant it may seem – something that caused you to feel loved in some way.
That’s the feeling you need to get back if you’ve lost it. Because the truth is that the girl you were who knew who she was and knew what she liked was enough just the way she was, and her light and beauty shone through who she was.
So the question is: how do you get such a thing back – how do you feel good about yourself again and how do you feel safe and confident again? I’ve traveled this road and it’s a process, but it comes in the small things.
- Start by doing things that you felt good doing in your girlhood eg, riding your bike, playing with a yo-yo, bouncing a ball off the wall. Perhaps this sounds silly to you, but chances are it will probably make you feel happy. And happiness is part of regaining confidence and self-esteem.
- Listen to music that makes you feel really good, calm and happy. If you don’t know what music you like, find out. Rediscovering who you are and what you like is an essential part of the process.
- While you’re listening to your favourite music, answer some questions about yourself:
- What is your favourite food/colour/activity/book/poem/quote/etc?
- What clothes do you like to wear (and don’t worry about anyone else’s opinion when you answer this – they’re not going to read your answer!)?
- What makes you laugh?
- Who is your favourite Disney character and why?
- If you could do something completely outrageous (but legal and without harming yourself or anyone else!!), what would it be?
- Do one thing that helps you to get out of your comfort zone eg. make a new friend at school, participate in an activity that you were a little nervous of doing, show someone kindness by doing something nice for them, write a letter of appreciation to a teacher, your coach or one of your parents and give it to them.
- Read a good book that inspires you and make a note about why it inspired you.
The suggestions above are ways that you can get to really know yourself and the things that make you happy. This is part of the process of liking and loving yourself again. No matter who you are, you are an amazing young woman with talents and a purpose.
Just as gravity always existed, but Sir Isaac Newton became aware of it when an apple fell on his head, your “awesomeness” (I heard this word the other day and love it!) and amazing qualities are inside you. And, lady, it’s time to be aware of them! May this blog be the apple falling on your head, and as with Isaac Newton, may it lead to further research and incredible discoveries!! I’m with you every step of the way!
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